What's up with Christ?

First, I would like to offer my condolences to all the families that lost loved ones during the recent flash flood of a girls' Christian summer camp.

During my time in McAdoo, I have gone through changes in my 30 years living here; some good, some bad. For most of my entire life, I was raised in and accepted Jesus Christ, giving little thought as to why. I no longer believe in Jesus Christ, so you might want to avoid standing next to me, lest a lightning bolt strike me dead.

Let's just throw the recent events under the spotlight. Several hundred young Christian girls assembled for some wholesome Christian fun, and Christ decided to wipe them from the face of the Earth by drowning, probably the most horrendous way to die.

This really is the elephant in the room everyone ignores. When I first moved to McAdoo, there was a bar and church on every corner. As a matter of fact, the piece of trash Borchick that stole my car was listed as a church deacon. Please have a McAdoo Christian explain this to me; maybe we have church corruption?

Now I have sent Christ to the special part of my brain reserved for painful experiences in life, like the Easter Bunny, Santa, MPD, and now Christ. In the latest news story, local residents are displaying green ribbons to keep the memory alive. If the dead could speak, they would probably tell you to stick the green ribbons up your ass and reconsider your lifestyle choices. I'm getting too old for this; time for an adventure.

UPDATE: ABC News did a good job covering this tragedy, and I'll post a link. Just a side note: Trump made sure FEMA is present and helping, contrasting Obama's FEMA failures during Katrina; just thought I'd bring up another elephant in the room.